orkut and the beachboy

15 fuckin hours online since ten last night 'cos of blogger and bloody orkut (courtesy varun... am i to curse him for inviting me, or myself for asking to be invited?). fifteen hours and counting... my dad woke up at six earlier this evening and i was still online. he got a little worried i'll cause him bankruptcy (this piece of shit floptop wont connect to cable so i gotta use tata-indicom "walky" or whatever to connect) and i got a little worried myself cos i suddenly realized that i'd missed lunch and that i could'nt focus my eyes too clearly. besides, so many hours on my ass is asking for things like piles which i'v till now, thankfully, never experienced. so i turned off the comp with great difficulty and decide to walk to the beach. my uncle who's staying with us for a bit, said i should take the bike and go since he was done with using it (thats right i have'nt given it for service yet, in case you'r reading, vin, i'l do it tom morn). i said 'no way', half with the little intelligence that surfaced my ocean of lethargy and half wanting to impress him that i was capable of walking the five hundred or so meters to the beach.
if there's one thing orkut did to me since last night, its that it gave me some kind of courage or something (?) with which i no longer felt it difficult to make eye contact with the ppl who i walked past. but then of course, i started getting conscious of this and it got difficult anyway.
i reached the beach and sat there for a long time, after-images of the comp-screen buzzing between me and the darkening sea. i started feeling ignatius bowel movements and thought I'd play the squatter. squatting's like the whole boys hostel/gym room joint shower thing they talk about. but modesty (penis envy? thats right guys seem to feel it too after having seen 'giant arab phallus penetrating teeny teenage vagina' in the old days of puberty and desi baba) got me after all. so i try divert my attention and step into the water. 13 hours of orkut disintegrating from my system as cold waves lash at my feet. naaa... it was just my imagination taking me for a trip.... the water was kind of warm.
ever looked down completely as you walked down the waters edge? especially when the ground's nice and flat. there's no real point of reference and as you keep walking, it feels like you're getting nowhere. a treadmill experience. works when you're facing the sky as well, and there're no trees or buildings near by.
when i finally decided to head back, i saw that there was that tall-ish cliff of sand formed today which i had to climb in order to get off the tide area. but my feet were wet and there's nothing more disgusting than that wet sandy and sticky feeling as you walk back home from the beach...yuk! so i keep walking looking for a place where people have already done the dirty job of collapsing the cakelike cliff. but then i got impatient and decided to make my own way. as i walked home, the sand eventually rubbed away.

the following's my journal entry for august '04 as it is:
on the way to the beach, i walked past a leper. an old man with thick spectacles, lying on the sandy roadside. i saw his missing toes and sleepy head and shuddered. the rest of the walk also comprised of a man with no legs, dragging himself on a wheeled board. i hit the sand and took a long walk and didnt sit at all and watched the waves hit my thoughts. there was no breeze and the whole event felt like a cold and damp wall. i stopped at a point and turned to some distant shore.
a parade of hooded snakes swept towards me. they broke to a slither just in front of me and kissed my feet. a numbness caught hold of me spreading beyond to even the world outside. i broke into a run to shake loose (yes there was a time when i pulled such stunts). my head was brimming with frothy liquid. i walked through the city-slickers climbing their ladders leading to clouds and to somewhere unknown. on the way back i noticed the missing toes and fingers and i felt like i'd get jumped by the man's soul and i walked faster.
i had an extra long bath and thought id seen enough to write a few patterns of words. i know that when i sleep tonight i'll fly around in that white silled with lepers and half men.